3. WE THROW AN EXCELLENT BASH


Alright, now that we've made it very clear why our opponents' plethora of sporting events make them poor choices, let's talk about why our history of hosting incredible sporting events makes us a no-brainer.

Remember the Sydney Olympics? Of course you do. They were the best olympics of all time (bugger off London). They're not our words, either. No less than IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch, said:

"I am proud and happy to proclaim that you have presented to the world the best Olympic Games ever."

They specifically changed the way the IOC describe Olympic games after Sydney because they meant it, the Sydney Olympics really was the best sporting event ever held.

Nearly 50,000 volunteers, fireworks off Sydney Harbour Bridge, Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat as a mascot. We can even exhume Roy and HG for the tournament.

The crazy thing is that we managed to get the entire world excited about a sporting event with competitions like Show Jumping, Trampolining and Greco-Roman Wrestling. Held purely in Sydney.

Sydney is incredibly beautiful, don't get us wrong, but it's also a dour place full of blanched executives and show jumping shouldn't even be a sport.

If we managed to make the Sydney Olympics the best sporting event on earth, imagine what we could do with a purely football tournament held across the entire country, including the sporting and culture capital Melbourne, where this writer may or may not be from.